Toilet Talkers
Steve Stone: I hate when I go into the bathroom and Gene is in there, on the crapper, talking on his phone
Sarah Valentine: ewww awkward
Steve Stone: very awkward
Steve Stone: I mean the person on the other end must know they’re in the bathroom
Steve Stone: its got to be all echoey
Sarah Valentine: I have a friend who calls me every time he takes a poo
Steve Stone: noooo way
Sarah Valentine: yes way, and one time I was on the phone and he was out of TP and he was like what do I do? so I was like take a shower, and he was like stay on the phone while I take a shower, and that’s where I had to draw the line
Steve Stone: so showering, not pooing is where you draw the line?
Steve Stone: I would much rather talk to someone in the shower
Sarah Valentine: and another time he came over to my house, and I figured out that he was pooping in my bathroom because I heard him talking to someone on the phone
Sarah Valentine: I felt oddly betrayed
Steve Stone: how can you talk to someone while their taking a crap? HOW?
Sarah Valentine: you get used to it I guess
Steve Stone: ewwww
Sarah Valentine: just don’t think about what they’re doing, think about what they’re saying
Steve Stone: that’s so gross to me
Steve Stone: what if you hear something nasty
Sarah Valentine: as long as they tell you before hand then it’s okay
Steve Stone: wouldn’t you just die?
Sarah Valentine: if they don’t tell you and you hear something and then figure it out, that’s kind of gross
Steve Stone: nooooooo waaaaaayyyy
Steve Stone: so do you ever make crapper calls?
Steve Stone: now’s the time to come clean
Sarah Valentine: yeah
Sarah Valentine: I admit it
Sarah Valentine: I don’t call people, but if someone calls me I’ll answer it
Steve Stone: ohh my god
Steve Stone: you are one of them!
Steve Stone: I feel like I don’t even know you at all right now
Sarah Valentine: whatever, I bet you do it all the time
Steve Stone: no, never
Steve Stone: EVER!
Steve Stone: so tell me; has your friend that calls you from the toilet ever caught you while you were on the toilet?
Sarah Valentine: I don’t think so, my phone doesn’t really pick up background noise
Sarah Valentine: if they have, no one’s called me on it
Steve Stone: if I hear an echo when someone picks up the phone I immediately ask if they’re in the bathroom
Steve Stone: promptly followed by hanging up and washing my hands, and puking if they are
Sarah Valentine: lol
Sarah Valentine: you can’t get germs over the phone
Steve Stone: according to science, but sometimes you just have to give into your neurosis and go with your gut
Steve Stone: so you have never toilet talked with someone else who is also on the toilet?
Sarah Valentine: you mean like we’re both on the toilet?
Steve Stone: lol, yeah
Sarah Valentine: on the phone or in the same bathroom?
Steve Stone: both on the toilet, both on the phone
Steve Stone: because that’s gotta be the pinnacle of disturbing phone behavior
Steve Stone: I’m pretty sure people charge 9.95 a minute for that sort of thing
Sarah Valentine: I don’t think I’ve done that
Steve Stone: but you said your friend always calls you when he’s on the toilet
Steve Stone: and you answer from the toilet
Sarah Valentine: so…
Steve Stone: it must have happened
Sarah Valentine: no
Steve Stone: you just don’t want to admit it, I don’t blame you…
Sarah Valentine: I wouldn’t care if it happened
Sarah Valentine: I just don’t think that it has
Steve Stone: oh, well maybe it’s something to think about “hi… so are you on the toilet…. yeah…. me too…. hehehheheh”
Sarah Valentine: yeah that’s what you think about
Sarah Valentine: in your crazy fantasies
Steve Stone: yeah, I’m the crazy one